sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
First guy to fuck a girl in the new tool shed. Her underwear is on the shovel hook.
Just tried to tap morse code on the wall seperating our beds to tell you I was awake and ready to smoke
there was this guy running across campus barefoot in the pouring rain stepping in all the puddles. i want his life. and i want to be stripper.
Just read my long term horoscope. I'm not gonna get laid for another 2 years.
I feel like I wont be making enough money to support my frivilous lifestyle of beer and mcdonalds
I don't even care that his girlfriend will be there. Us hooking up is a tradition and she will NOT ruin it.
I woke up smelling like chlorine with a broke toe. They know how to fucking party on lake lanier.
I feel like I got ass raped in the brain.
He's holding a pee stick. Yes it's weird.
I never thought I would be saying these words but...when did David Spade get hot?
Woke up in a bathtub with both of my legs broken. How was your night?
Woke up in a fanny pack with a bag of cocaine on my cheek
Oh, I also stabbed a guy Friday and he still asked me out
dude it was our first time and her hair caught on fire from the candles on the nightstand
There is no way that actually happened!
the smell of burnt hair covered up the sweaty sex smell.
Imagine we only get one cock for the rest of your life. I’d pick his dick. That good!
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