we're blogging at a bar
Lets evaluate? U kissed one boss and lef twith another man. I cock teased the other, hardcore had a tongue jammed down my throat, made out w aa third then left in a cab w alex w them all yelling at me and offering rides. My cheek was also licked and bitten by 2 other men and we almost made out (u and me) because they asked. were hired.
sometimes i really wish you were a nugget.
You asked my mom "who the fuck drives four hours to sleep in a guys bed and not touch his penis"
did i paint my nails blue or do i need to make a trip to the ER?
You would ignore him even if it wasn't NoManUary. It could be the Winter of a Thousand Dicks and you wouldn't talk to that guy.
The Winter of A Thousand Dicks sounds terrifying!!!
She just locked herself in the bedroom with an unopened bottle of wine and a steak knife. Unfortunately for her fingers, I stopped giving a fuck two hours ago.
And on that day, Satan said; "Let there be the friend zone and let us get fucking high." while Jesus silently cried in the background.
It's amazing how not interested in talking to him I am since I've decided that he probably has chlamydia.
She was into my hawaiian shirt and id never made out with a dinosaur... I feel like it worked out for everyone
STOP PUTTING BUTTER ON MY FUCKING CAT
And with one simple text you can separate the men from the boys...."it's that time of the month."
Two of us got arrested. Gonna be delayed a bit. Save me a burger.
Please come pick up your twin. She's tap dancing in her underwear and that's not how you want yourself represented.
Did I honestly think it was a good idea to wear my pink robe out in public at 2 in the morning ?
Randomize
