just shaved my legs at the gas station bathroom before going to the club. is that too ghetto?
is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
the trash is collected at 5:50 on mondays. i was up puking all night and heard them
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
I might never shower again without beer.. I might also always drink naked
dude you need a shock collar for some of the things you say when you're drunk.
Showing up at the grocery store at 5am to have the clerk sprint to the condom cabinet waiving the keys because you told him to hurry it was an emergency
Do you have any idea how hard it is to concentrate on legal issues with the ghost of his giant penis in me?
I think we should roll her a welcome back, sorry your godmom's on life support blunt.
I go to a class slightly intoxicated and they bring in a baby. What a life.
So he texted me two hours ago to tell me he just took two hits of acid. Now he's asking me if it's possible for a house to breathe.
So the bitch asked me if I wanted the name brand or the generic contraceptive. Does it look like I want to be generically pregnant?
fuck it. im taking monday off to do some Jagering.
the problem is i have six tabs of acid in my freezer and no self control
Worst way to find out I have a half sister
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