just watched a girl laugh at her own fingers... it's not even noon...
well on a positive note i hear those vitamins you take while pregnant do wonders for your nails
he left his wallet here so lets treat ourselves to a lunch for the lack of penis we both had deal with
Just got judged by the front desk clerk, 2 maids and a security guard at the Sheraton. I've decided to use this as a character building experience.
New rule during sex: if it causes you to take your rings off, don't do it.
I'm Still in a robe trying to piece together 3-7am I'll be there in a few
Stories of my weekends have cause divorces, are you sure you wanna hang out?
It was less of a bar, and more of an abandoned basement that some people sell booze in.
I woke up at 4 am. Literally pissed. No idea what happened. I could have fucked a cow.
this relationship shit is hard. like i'd like to be able to watch veep without him trying to dry hump me. also im drunk and its 11 am so
I'm pants less watching buffy the vampire slayer drinking rum. I'm not that hard to impress
Drunk me has cost me a lot in cell phones...
For both our sake, we've decided to ban watching combat sports before sex
Can someone explain to me why guys are so fascinated w their dicks that they feel like they'll die if they don't send unsolicited dick pics
Yo whoever left a thong on the dining room table, first of all get help second of all please remove it now
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