I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
god, a vagina is an amazing trump card
i just saw a guy carrying a medieval times commemerative glass filled with vomit.. there were 2 people cheering him from behind
I just had a dream where Bob Saget recognized me from when I hung out with him in a dream I had months ago.
I wouldnt endorse that guy if he was walking in a walkathon to raise money for a disease i had
I'm like 99% sure I made out with Kevin Spacey last night. Not good.
she was giving me head and that cheryl crow 'youre favorite mistake' song came on. she looks up and all i could do was nod
He asked me to touch his mustache. Should I go home with him?
and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
i was holding a cup in her face for her to throw up in while screaming THIS IS THE DEFINITION OF FRIENDSHIP
You straight up wore me out. This should be a proud moment for you. It's almost like my penis is asking for a timeout. But not really
Of the three people getting wasted at this dance competition, im two of them
It must suffice lest there secretly exist a picture of me walking out of the ocean at midnight naked and half mast with a sea urchin on my ass
He was on my bed looking at me like a sacrifice to the gods of gay sex and he's definitely a bottom. Like Jesus Christ a really, really great ass of a bottom.
The true debate: do I prioritize going to bed and getting more than six hours of sleep or do I prioritize washing out various grease, leaf bits, and jizz out of my hair
Randomize
