Sweetheart, you've always been a horrid bitch...
you were grabbing cocks left and right
you literally grabbed sam's dick and said, "who's cock is this?!"
Found moms dildo in drawer while looking for socks, and its wet
you screamed 'he won't go on a date with me, but he gave me a free junior chicken'
well imagine, me dating the manager equals free junior chickens for everyone
Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
They found an open window, climbed through and proceeded to arrest half the party. These campus cops are like fucking ninjas.
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
On the plus side I got to ride in a fire truck and I didn't have to blow anybody for it
If Dave says he's going to have sex with her, he's going to fuck her retarded and turn her crazy. So run.
I got picked up after "I just threw up in my face". Then I had very specific instructions involving the bathtub.
Dude if I call tonight please answer and just say "NO, dont do it."
BAT SHIT CRAZY
It's you're fault, even though I never called
Officially crunch time. It's my last year of grad school and I've yet to get blown in a school library. The parking garage was less than a block away though.
Have you ever come so hard that right after you have the urge to yell "make me a sandwich!"? ...I think my ovaries turned into testicles.
Ok, not to minimize the significance of that beautiful anecdote from your childhood, but here's a video of my penis.
And change of plans today, I'm gonna lay in bed and eat taco bell and try not to die. Brazilians another day.
Randomize