Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
oh my god, i just wanna eat cake off your dick
If that was your dad, he is hot
i just had sex with a fat kid who giggles when he cums. tequila really lowers my standards.
I probably should have cut it off when he started putting queso on my nipples, but within ten minutes I was a self-serve burrito bar.
wait a second. did i just remember you the other night referring to your tits as tia and tamara.....
Using the ceiling fan to slice the hotdogs in mid-air can only be contributed to our liberal use of 1800.
You broke a cabinet. You were climbing up it and it collapsed on you. Lines were crossed.
Some guy stole lobsters by hiding them in his pants. We should strive to be like him.
I swear if she asks me for a baby one more time I'm gonna sleep with one of her friends
Who wouldn't want a man who can knock a guy out but also loves the bachelor.
It's the best of both worlds
Your clever response has earned you a blow job this week
These are the things that make me so grateful... that I slept with your sister instead.
I just got wasted for $3.50. My life can't get any better.
Maybe singing about how you'd bang Morgan Freeman to the tune of Single Ladies while holding champagne and a box of Cheerios wasn't the best first impression on his parents
Randomize
