I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
soo how bad was i last night?
licking sour cream off of the table at pancheros bad.
Just because you put plan b in my Easter basket doesn't give you an excuse not to wear a condom.
She kept crying and asking why I couldn't look more like Dennis quaid.
he pulled a $400 bottle of champagne out of the back part of his toiled and I was ready to blow him then and there
Things I just found under my covers: protein bar, string cheese, vibrator.
Honesty, no. I just want to shower you with hot dogs.
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
We had sex and he ended up in the hospital... don't know if I should be worried or proud.
I have never paid for drugs and I'm sure not going to start today especially on a holiday
What I'm doing now is like me taking a bagel, dropping it butter side down, leaving it for six years, picking it back up, and trying to fuck it
I need more than 2 fuckable people this is an outrage
You kissed my hand and then put a Taco in it. Why WOUDNT I leave my husband?
Side note: I apologize for sex being the subject of every single one of my texts. That's what happens when you date an older man who constantly denies you sex on the basis of his ridiculous morals.
Is there any chance of you maybe wanting a bouncy house at your wedding. Like maybe a .0001 chance. If so I would totally chip in for that.
Randomize
