I can only speak casual parseltoungue, im not bad though. just the general, "wheres the bathroom?" "open the chamber of secrets" that type of stuff
I imagine anything that isn't a dilldo attached to a jackhammer, powered by a generator won't be amazing enough for you
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
So what do you think the policy is on vomit in rental cars? do I have to clean that up or is that part of the service I'm paying for?
She only remembers me when she's drunk. It's like I'm a suppressed memory that only surfaces with alcohol.
Way to high for badminton right now. This is gonna be a shitshow.
Pregaming before going to drink with a girl from Russia. Please make sure I'm not dead in the morning.
Should i put up a tasteful banner for your party that says last chance to sleep with maya?
Just warning you the last time I had captain Morgan I gave a blow job to a guy that looked like Jesus.
Pretty sure I sang "What Makes You Beautiful" to some random guy in a parking lot last night...
I don't know what I was talking about but I just threw up in ikea. You can't get out of this place it's a fucking labyrinth.
SOME BITCH AT THE HOSTEL STOLE MY NUT BUTTER THERE WILL BE BLOOD
DO YOU REALIZE HOW AWESOME MY GRANDMA WOULD BE IF SHE GOT HIGH
At one point I had two blunts in my hand and had no idea where they came from.
When is the right time to ask your new roommate for her school schedule so she doesn't walk in on you fucking some rando in the kitchen in the middle of the afternoon?
Randomize
