After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
I showed him my bush... on skype.
You really need to take down the pics of you and your boyfriend on facebook. It's becoming increasingly harder to jerk off while i'm Facebook stalking your pics at 2am.
just spent about 3 1/2 hours looking for a dollar so I can buy weed.
suggestion: become a stripper.
I literally have been drunk for three days entirely by myself, the world cup may kill me
DON'T BE A PUSSY. ONLY 1/3 OF THE WORDS IN YOUR LAST TEXT WERE MISSPELLED, WHICH MEANS YOU NEED 2/3 MORE SHOTS.
I didn't scare your mother by showing up on the roof, did I?
You said you'd make me a thank you card for taking care of your drunk ass. I'll be expecting that monday.
Seriously, this trumpet player gives me chills. Might be the drugs.
When you're high, you dance like an injured velociraptor.
GUESS WHO STILL HAS BOTH NIPPLES!
I just bought a 1/4 oz of pot from a coworker who's old enough to be my grandfather...I'm never leaving Portland.
i liked you for your lack of ambition and abundance of weed
You know you're high when, "Why can't I steal the duck?!" Becomes a serious question.
A true gentleman never tells. But yes, I did indeed get laid last night
Randomize
