Bar. Show boob. Just one. Free drinks. Instant friends
Guys only need one. Little known secret. You're welcome.
A homeless guy asked you to feel your boobs, you accepted in exchange for his broom to go with your witch costume..... that's when I cut you off
Want updates from david's night out drinking? If so text back DAVID to this number. Std rates apply.
Im like a co-bf. he pays for her birthday and christmas, but i get all the action.
Want to come to my BBQ and Blow party?
Do I buy ice cream sandwiches or a 40? these are the difficult life decisions I am faced with.
I may be in pain from falling off the roof but getting to the morning roof keg was well worth it.
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
there's chocolate cake in my bathtub.. I don't even want to know how the hell chocolate cake wound up in my tub..
I swear she lies about being allergic to gluten so she'll get all the jack and not have to drink shitty beer like the rest of us
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
But college guys get to crossfade so there's that
No idea what that is
Like getting bent? When you drink and smoke together...
I'm 30 stop using your cool kids words
I do feel like I owe you an apology for trying to fuck your dad last night but in my defense everyone knows I shouldn't drink tequila.
I had to hose off vomit off my driveway at 9 am.....so hot
Costco cheesecake and whisky. A night made in heaven
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