And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
I just walked through a room full of deaf people and farted i love deaf people
we'll hang out once this whole, "your friends are robbers and drug addicts" thing blows over with my parents.
just got my girl scout cookies. wanna get high?
Please fuck him. And then let me tell her. And then let me protect you from the knife she pulls from her Ed Hardy purse. Please.
I thought we agreed, no more super glueing action figures to my dick
He googled the address of the bar, then sent me a text saying "6.3 miles. Too far. :( Apparently I am only worth a 5 mile radius.
I'm not liking this ratio of moving to blowjobs...
He changed his profile picture to him as a baby. Definitely a turn off. This will help in my "don't-be-a-slut-endeavors"
Today is going to be the longest game of "was that a fart, or do I need to go wipe?" I have ever played. Maybe the most challenging too.
I wish university was like frosh week all the time and then they just give you a degree for surviving
he said didn't have much sexual experience and then proceeded to tell me he is going to make me cum harder than my vibrator could
well, that escalated quicky
Do you think you could cook pancakes while i blow you?
sarahs drunk and is drawing dinosaurs all over the apartment. should i stop her?
whats she drawing them with?
eyeliner
no that's ok
We peed on a building I think...like a building in downtown...not out of view of anyone.
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