he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
You know that restaurant that is like over by home depot?
That shitty one? I heard the food sucks there
It's my parent's restaurant
I CAN MOONWALK!
Fuck Spring. The birds chirping at 4am make me feel unnatural for still being up and drunk.
I guess it was to be expected that I was put on somebody's list called penis socket.
Succesfully slept on the roof at work for 3.5 hours without getting caught. I need a promotion
I'm going to pound you from behind over a table at the bar while I pull your hair and call you a whore...please pass along that message to Rob
I would feel worse for you if you weren't waking up between a pair of double Fs that attached to a classically trained chief. Im still jacking off eating hot pockets.
The only thing I remember from last night is being naked in his bed if that's not summer drinking at it's finest then I don't wanna live anymore
We are gonna sacrifice to and pray to every god in this world that he doesn't find out about her sleeping with his old roommate.
I'm gonna play eenie meenie at the bar tonight because it's women's day and I deserve the dick
There is a cooked ham in the washing machine.
just discovered a semi frightening wound on the side of my head that must have happened last night. if i die of a brain aneurysm, make sure they put "sorry for partying" on my gravestone.
Did you poop on the roof?
WTH?
Is that a no?
Apparently someone was hiding in a storm drain dressed as Pennywise from it and offering passersby free penis enlargement pills.
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