Woke up with an epic boner today, the kind where you can spin books and shit on it. FYI: don't try spinning an encyclopedia
Changed my mind. Wearing a dress. Casual, with a side of breasts.
Your dad's facebook is ejaculating midlife crisis all over my minifeed
Sorry for my penis texting you last night, I can't control what he wants at 4am.
I like the odds of his and my children being professional athletes too. To support me in my old age, see I do think about the future.
i vomited out of my nose in three different houses so far, i will be back for my boots tomorrow
We fucked on shrooms. It's like his dick was a beam of light and when I came I turned into a prism and my orgasms were made of rainbows.
I have his gate key so know he has to see me again.
I just want to drink bourbon and have sex and then eat like, a Christmas cookie.
I or someone else dumped a lot of glitter into my boobs last night.
I'm in my math teacher's garage hiding right now because I fucked his son last night. It's fine
If I could I'd magically teleport drugs and alcohol to you. Like a bad decision fairy.
don't let your emotions get tangled in that sexy beard of his.
I'm on a party bus with a stripper pole with middle aged women who have all started drinking
God bless your soul.
Angels sing when his face is between my thighs. I came 3 times before he even came up for air.
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