I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
If your dick isn't up when i get home you're catching tonight.
how should i feel about a person who brings a box of eggo waffles on the plane as a carry on?
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
He peed in the bird bath. Those birds are gonna be pissed
I had a girl last night tell me that she was happy to find a condom wrapper in my garbage because,and I quote, "well at least you're not raw dogging every slore that crosses your path"
Strange request but for my birthday you should get me one of those vibrators that you can plug into your iPod that go along with the music.
I'm reliable. I always make it home. I always throw up in the street too.
For future reference. Do not congratulate the bar tender at oscars she is not pregnant she has just gotten fat u will get a shot thrown in your face
You merely adopted the alcohol. I was born into it. Molded by it. I didn't see the hang over until I was a man and by then it was only blinding.
Sometimes you've gotta crawl to stay concious
If you get any calls give me a heads up. Im drinking rum in my underwear on the back porch.
Banged former boss. Adulthood achievement unlocked.
Left Las Vegas at 2:30 am, woke up at 11 AM at a Barstow gas station with the Valet from Ceaser' palace snoring in the backseat and no memory of how we got there. I felt like Raoul Fucjing Duke right then and there.
Just packed vodka and spare underwear into my purse- totally set for watching the hockey with him tonight
Randomize
