If i off myself, it'll be in a lobster costume in the hot tub with butter...
I think a girl in front of me glued an ugg tag to a weird pair of boots.
Okay I'm all about any plan that ends with "We're gonna get you drunk."
They want to listen to Lady Gaga while they puke.
your boyfriend is drunk and yelling to the bar that he loves his cats
Do you ever just look at me and get embarrassed?
You dont realize corn stalks will cut until you run from the cops through a corn field.
Yeah? Well I'm currently predrinking downstairs in my room by myself. Absolut and water with a hint of mint because I'm using the glass I keep my toothbrush in. Fuck, you bitches better get off work soon.
They're doing shots to celebrate every 15 minutes passing. You can come get them.
Katie told the cabby "when the boat docks I'm getting off with you"
We had to go to his parents last night for dinner & ended up having a quickie in the bathroom while everyone else was outside smoking.. This is why we have a successful marriage.
I'm sorry, but the "Hobbit Slam" has to be a sex move.
I mentioned your name at this party and some girl started crying.
There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
Drinking at 10 in the morning and swimming might not be the best idea I've ever had but it beats working
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