Tonight was fucked up. First my mom called me and told me I had to go to the bar to pick up my dad 'cause he was drunk. Then when I got there my dad was doing a body shot from this lady who happened to be my 1st grade teacher. By far the most awkward car ride home. Idk if I should tell my mom or not.
There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
he just tried to lick my eyebrow. thats the deal breaker.
Me + Nice restaurant + Copious amounts of booze + obscene comments to couples = valentine's day plans
someone was throwing condoms at us.
no, they just magically show up around you.
If she's telling you consent laws theres probably a reason
i remember you telling me to take a shower, brush my teeth, go get back in bed w her, and "just do what i was born to do." and as soon as i stopped yacking i did just that. you saved my birthday.
Most sexually ambiguous night of my life. Kept switching from the NBA finals to the Tonys.
Freedom, beauty, truth, and love to all. I also probably have syphilis
There are several different types of life sentences in my purse right now.
Sweet. I'm actually coaching my work study into a 4-girl orgy so dinner was kinda important. Yes, I'm the best boss ever.
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
Well am going to a strip club before sun down, I dont think anything good can come from that.
It was kicking off big time until you crawled out the bar on your hands and knees. Nobody wanted to mess with that.
I should probably drink beer instead of rum today so I don't end up naked in my living room while I still have guest.
Randomize
