I haven't worn deodorant in like three days and have been laying around in my underwear listening to music and drinking. I think i've made my own Bonnaroo in my apartment.
I think horse shit smells the best of all shits.
I seriously just washed my dick in a public restroom. That's how dirty last night got
Just got a birthday card from Camel. How am I supposed to stop smoking when they care?
She is just riding on my slutty coat tails.
So not only did you shoot down my invitation and prob walked past my house but now ur excluding me from a wet t shirt contest which btw i totally would have won
rigging a system to keep my jello shots cold in class. important election day work.
I feel like we should build an island for girls that have committed atrocious numbers of unforgivable sins. We'll call it 'whore island' after the anchorman fashion.
I'm not even mad. I was just trying to get a boner, you're the one that had to see that
We took vodka shots. You kept saying it was the key to your heart.
I put miralax in my rum/coke. Go hard or go home.
Thx for last night. I've never had so much fun while being told my life decisions are questionable at best.
Once upon a time I threw up in my own hands last night.
This will never work. His dick is smaller than mine.
Wow. And yours is kind of small.
RIGHT?
roommate singing save a horse ride a cowboy wearing a cowboy hat a bikini and jeans while humping the couch.
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