i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
you spent the rest of the night making a recipe for mixed drink called "the new years bowel remover". it has 13 parts but judging from the bold all caps, the boiled avocado is the most important
I just pull a splinter from the head of my penis. It was a rough night.
Circumcision scars are like fingerprints. I think I'm on to something man.
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
Theres a high probability there will be two hot men waiting on you in your bed when you get home for lunch.
You stumbled in at 10am, half-clothed and still drunk from last night and yelled "well, its not called a walk of pride!", then passed out on the couch.
he attacked my vagina with the force of a thousand suns
I was chasing disarono with Bacardi and watching ice cube movies. It would have been an epic birthday if I wasn't by myself and actually had some decent friends.. Hint. Asshole.
You're going to be mad because I got baked, but not that mad because I'm bringing home kfc.
Well, if it makes you feel any better I'll be drinking tequila and doing lines on Halloween. Just like old days.
Side note: I just realized that I can make my hand warmers double as a heated push up bra.
I told him I just left the convent and really wanted a man. He fell for it. Sure beats telling him I'm a nympho stalker that followed him to the bar when I saw his beard.
NOT PREGNANT HIGH FIVE!
I tried saying sorry but instead I puked down her shirt and tried to clean it up... Now I have a bruise on my forehead. good news, before she left she wrote her number on my stomach with sharpie
Randomize
