that's the second time you've been mistaken as a prostitute. maybe life is trying to tell you something
its my fault though, i'm wearing tights
you're hiking in tights? you remind me of dennis quaid's fiance in the parent trap
Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
i have no concept of time, i feel my nose, and im seeing everything in bitty hexagons.
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
I slept face down in the dirt because I wanted to go camping?
She said she couldn't find my penis because my arm was in the way. That was my penis
Every man deserves at least one moment like that
Dude I woke up in her bed wearing a top hat and bunny slippers and noticed one of us had pissed in bed. The last thing I wanted to ask for was a ride home
Dude, seduce him with cookies. You almost turned me gay with scones. Don't be surprised when they get you laid.
And tell the hostess not to worry, she's narcoleptic and fell asleep on the way to the bar, but she'll be fine in a few minutes.
Booty calls should never involve the cops.
He brought over a bottle of tequila and a box of donuts with the Plan B, so I guess you could say things are getting pretty serious.
Went up to some dude that hit on Laura and told him he has a voice like a grandma. Apparently didnt have muscles or kindness like grandma so can you pick me up at the ER please?
I'm determined to sit on that face.
I just found (and ate) a chunk of a reese's that fell between my boobs. Problem is that I finished those off 3 days ago in a drunk induced sob session... Has it really been that long since I changed my clothes?!
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