are you still at the devil's house?
he just asked me if he could show me what he wanted to do to me using his action figures. where do i find these freaks?
i just threw up in front of the washington monument. such a scenic puke.
She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
Just bought a McDouble with a tightly rolled dollar. The lady just gave me a sad face...
If i theoretically had to put an iv back in what do I need to do?
My boobs are feeling quite sensitive so I told them, " you is smart, you is kind, you is important" that should do the trick.
Why is our fridge full of girl scout cookies and rum?
You told me to go grocery shopping.
At least you didn’t announce to an entire bar you’ve eaten pussy, and then knocked your beer over.
One day, I might be old and married wishing I could bang everyone... and that'll be a problem. So I feel in my heart it's something I need to do.
sometime during the night he found me in the empty hotttub singing marvins room in only my bra.
Got caught up in a real life love triangle. Both guys wanted me. I'm tempted to just run off with the cute girl from McDonalds instead
Please do that
Like if I exploded right now there would be cum and fajitas everywhere.
He was eating me out on a samsung washing machine and as soon as I came, I heard the "end of cycle" song. That tune will now always remind me of the screaming, multiple orgasms I recieved tonight!
Randomize
