Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
he pretended not to hear me say our safety word. how do you think I feel?
Your last words were "i'm gonna motorboat the bartender." then you commenced with an attempted motorboat
Dude they are all farmers and I'm pretty sure there's a prostitute here.
At home depot. Final room inspection is tmrow, gotta paint over the puke stains
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
I feel a five day drunk coming on.
Drinking Hot Toddies on the Porch and blasting bob dylans "hurricane" bring it on sandy!
Hooked up with a girl in the dorm laundry room tonight. And got invited to go to Vegas for free. That's how today's going.
You told me that you were as fast as lightning and you wanted to race me. Then you faceplanted after falling down the stairs.
Wound up hungover. Visiting 4 y/o nephew suggested cookies and milk and playing Kirby with him with the sound down. This kid is going places.
gin. gin. Gin. GIN GIN GINGINFFdJH
I was too lazy to get my chapstick out of my purse so i lubed up my lips with pizza grease. On a scale of 1-10 how embarassed should i be?
I think I need practice at oral sex
I own a practice facility.
The fact that I’m not married yet means there are millions of lucky girls out there who have dodged a bullet
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