Me. At least after what I've been through.
I've been thinking and really it's a miracle I haven't had an STD yet.
they started a semi-successful rumor that toby keith died. who says fraternities don't have goals
I just found out my college boyfriend's nickname is actually a Dutch word for little cucumber.....it all makes sense now.
I am gifting my birthday sex to you, but its okay because I can always just have birthday vibrator.
She proposed we share a dildo. Hopefully she was joking.
To be honest I've become too lazy for the work involved in getting laid.
You run marathons and you're too lazy for sex? Priorities, man.
Touche.
I'm beginning to think that women just have dogs at home as an excuse to leave ASAP after hooking up, without sounding like a typical guy.
Note to self; if you can light it on fire, you probs shouldn't drink it
I just slapped myself in the face with my dildo and I know that's a weird thing to share but I just had to tell to someone omg I'm laughing so hard
We're going to ride the bus of mixed signals all the way to unrequited love town and that's where I'm going to live my life and then die.
I've had sex with three people who have this birthday.
let’s face it, me joining a co-ed soccer league is like, 33% motivated by my crotch seeking a healthy outlet
Let's not forget that we had sex on the ground in public tonight.
apparently i ended up downloading "thats amore", giving him head, and singing it... all at the same time
Randomize
