We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
How long is the appropriate time period between a pregnancy scare and breaking up with my girlfriend?
Def ran into my elementary school babysitter at the grocery store. Still hot. And she complimented my beer choice. It feels good to still have her approval
theres so much semen in my vacuum cleaner...
the story is to long to tell you via txt so when you notice the tattoo on your ass call me.
Dude...that line about her giving me a blowjob to get rid of her hangover actually got rid of her hangover. Spread the word.
I just very easily got pretty high off of one bowl of shitty dirt weed. I'm a sad excuse for who I used to be.
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
Shots. Renamed a guy (he looked like a Scott to me), running, bloody Marys, walk to Safeway, donuts, ride home from someones husband, Nurse Jackie. FIN.
I think our prof has caught onto our drinking game. He burst into the room with a big smile on his face and yelled "essentially! Essentially! Essentially!"
You suck at answering, but you did manage to avoid a fun conversation about hemorrhoids. So maybe you're great at answering.
He knows whenever I get drunk I'm going to call him and make fun of his major. Its like a reverse booty call.
He signed my ass with a Waffle House pen.
Drunk me started making nachos apparently but never got to the part with the cheese. There are chips everywhere
I just realized that Margarita Wednesdays are so much better now when followed by No Work Thursdays.
Randomize
