I never want to see another naked old woman again.
I can already tell this is gonna be one of those parties where we sit across the room and text about people.
Stars make me really horny. Especially that shiny one its just staring at me.
Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
She is putting glow sticks from her bedroom to the bathroom. She is calling it 'Being prepared'. God help us all tonight...
he left his wallet here so lets treat ourselves to a lunch for the lack of penis we both had deal with
I feel like somebody took my brain out. Stomped on it with cleats. And then put it back together with a glue stick. Thank you.
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
I am eating deep fried cinnamon rolls and I found a lighter in my sprinkles. I miss you.
Either im tripping real hard, or there's a legit land shark in my apartment.
I had mdma, weed, and alcohol in my system. My doctor seems to think that's how I tore my groin.
I asked him to explain what he meant by "hooking up" in paragraph form
Didn't think the day of being the oldest in a club would be when I'm twenty one. Even the bouncer looked surprised when he ID me.
You yelled at me about a fork.
You probably deserved it, I'm very territorial about my cutlery.
Anytime you wish.we are doing double shots in the kitchen,and I drank a beer in the shower,so...the sooner you get here,the sooner you can get on our level.
Randomize
