My e-date is really photogenic. Real-life not so much
he kept looking at my chin until i asked why, then he just said he was making sure his balls didnt leave a mark.
I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
Five things that make you perfect. Go.
The skin of a dead hooker. The blood of the innocent. The soul of a kitten. The hat from cat in the hat. And sunglasses.
I just added 'steal mom's xanax' to my to do list for when I go home for Easter.
It was like an alcohol war zone and you left a soldier behind.
He went 'unicorn hunting' and lost a fight with a fence. That's how he ended up in the ER.
He called it restless penis syndrome. I call it cheating.
It was like giving head to a cactus.
Why isn't there a super hero that comes to the aide of really high kids when they kill their car battery?
Its like I've been given a sexual blank check.
We were cuddling in his bed and I asked him a question and followed by making a microphone with my hand and told him to speak into it. If he never talks to me again that's probably why.
At one point she whispered in my ear "I overdrew my bank account today" but besides that it was an awesome lap dance
Hold on gotta plunge the sink
Is that a euphemism for sex? Either way, have a good time
oh you can't commit, don't have any real ambitions, and love to drink PBR? well.... sign me up!
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