A little boy walked by his parents room one night, looked through the keyhole, and said "and that bitch tells me to stop sucking my thumb!"
i hope my daughter doesn't end up with cankles. no guy likes cankles.
how much land on farmville do you have now? i sold all my shit to make room i need more money... these animals need to know I'm running a business not a charity.
My lack of memory is directly related to being friends with you.
I'm starting to have hip problems from having my legs spread too often.
I never thought I would say the free bottle of grey goose was the problem but it was
Using the ceiling fan to slice the hotdogs in mid-air can only be contributed to our liberal use of 1800.
Is all white too much for court to prove my innocents?
Like for real, is your junk ok? I have to look after my investments.
I'm gonna buy my dress an hour before wedding. You know, just to make sure it's gonna really happen.
T'would be a shame to waste that open bar though. They shouldn't do that to us. We've been having to pretend we're happy for two people who got engaged a week after they met.
You're a goddess. Probably of destruction and dick jokes, or some shit, but man, lesser bitches wish they could be half as fab.
Honestly I volunteered because the email made it sound like it was a once in a lifetime opportunity to be a sexual spy kid.
I also have bagel bites. I know that's not as big an incentive as the cocksucking but.....
Hurricane Harvey ruined my dick appt. WTF?!
We were all having a bath, the three of us, then that drug dealer guy walked in and peed. Sitting down. Apparently he didn't want to offend us.
Randomize
