The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
There are no words to adequately express my gratitude for sending me porn you found staring a former classmate.
I remember saying "sorry" to the blunt before throwing it out the window
let's put it this way: i'm gonna stop drinking and get a gym membership. she's that hot
I opened my door to go to class and all there was was a raccoon puking on the doorstep. In hindsight, it was a very accurate omen.
I can hear her moaning. I'm on some random guy's counter. He wanted me to cuddle but I said I didn't know how.
I burst into tears on the boat this morning because we bumped a duck in the head. I am way too hung over for today
Valentines day isn't about being a couple in love..... It's about chocolate and faking orgasms.
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
I was jumping over your garbage can screaming "Im a snow cat!!" ..Who wouldn't want to see that?
I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
So, left this guys house wearing a #1 Grandpa shirt and I think this is the best sex score I've ever had.
My diet has been 80% Fun Dip this week, soooo, no. Not good.
she walked up to me at the bar, kissed me, andthen declared "I HAVEN'T SEEN YOU OR YOUR PENIS SINCE 2011."
I'm going to smell of sex and shame.
How is that different than any other Monday night?
Randomize