Is it bad to use cherry nyquil as substitute for grenadine? Because i just went there.
Nah, totally cool. It already has the alcohol in it.
i was so drunk i stopped mid-blowjob to make sure he i was with my boyfriend and not some random. twice.
How do you get eyebrow wax out of your butthole region?
The fact that you aren't ashamed to ask that is the reason I will give you the answer. Under the sink there is a bottle of wax remover. Throw my waxing kit away as well.
Things are going great. I have tons of beer, margaritas, and theres an inflatable swan in the mix.
She's making tacos & sangria tonight. I'm sure that's how the pilgrims pregamed.
I heard a loud ass thump and then I saw both dogs coming around the corner.... Without him. I went to check out what happened and the dogs apparently pulled him down onto his face, knocking him out.
There's a big bag of salt and vinegar chips and a Budweiser for when you wake up. Don't say I never did anything for you.
you're expensive. Idk about all this. What happened to free make outs?
Sobriety and mild self-respect
you ate dog biscuits in front of my dogs and laughed at them for not have opposable thumbs
Well. Turns up no one actually knows who that kid was. Came in, said happy fathers day, chilled for a while, then left.
You showed them your nipple for dollars for the jukebox. You were depressed because only one of your songs played. Oh then you twisted your ankle and blamed it on your mad stripper skills.
No shame in my game.
During your work shift I was either: a) stoned. b) high. c)stoned. or d) high.
i just found a red feather stuck to my penis and i really wanted to send you a picture but too much
This is my college life. Rolling at 4PM on a Wednesday to skrillex in the parking lot of a mexican restaurant.
YOU'D BE LIKE A MERMAID! I'll bring you coffee filters to cover your tits.
Randomize