I'm waiting for seagulls to eat this throw up
I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
ew. I made a sandwich, and the cheese reminded me of her vagina
Hey do you have a way to post bail? If not we can hook you up. If a police officer is reading this please ask him and respond in a timely fashion. I am concerned for my imprisoned friend
The last thing I remember is him grabbing my ass and telling me he knew where the jello shots were, so I followed him.
So hungover. They actually hid easter eggs around me.
The last thing I remember is sitting in a chair and him hand feeding me bell peppers
im the best fifth wheel. all four of them separately bribed me to never speak of what happened last night
Well, I just did coke with a drag queen in a bathroom so that's the direction this night is taking
I happen to have lost a black t-shirt and the volume button from my phone last night. If anyone finds it. You know what to do.
I don't know what the bubonic plague feels like- but I'm gonna guess its something like this.
O was like, nah, fuck 50-50. My version of bi is that i'm 80% gay, 20% drug-addled decisions. Apparently he's straight on hallucinogens.
I'll have sex with you for tacos. I don't care, man.
Good news. His dicks gotten wayy bigger since high school. I love Thanksgiving break.
you were on all fours in the front yard puking, but managed to hand the pizza delivery guy a beer and to have a nice day.
Randomize
