i killed an earwig and left its corpse on the wall as a warning
make sure i look cute passed out on the couch.
she said if she won the lottery she'd fuck me... isn't that like government funded prostitution?
Matt just took me to visit my puke stain from 2 weeks ago at the train station...I'm fucking impressive
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
just snorted lines off a mancala board. I'm destined to win this game.
I love that my brother has just convinced my dad that smoking a blunt it an "unspoken family tradition"
Is it bad that my only regret is fucking on the bathroom floor and not the sink?
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
My dad just decided to play wingman for me... I dont want to let the family down... but both these girls are hideous
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
I don't know if I should feel proud or ashamed of myself...ashamed for making myself a drink at 6:15am or proud for actually being awake that early.
He made me put my cow print vest and my cowboy hat from my ' sheriff woody' costume and said I'll show you a woody. What I charmer huh!? I love make up sex
Someone has big plans this weekend. Just went to throw away the trash and saw packaging for 3 different vibrators on the top of the stack
It’s Sunday Funday! Stop watching football and bring your penis over here. There will be plenty of scoring!
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