on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
did you seriously just ask me if there is such thing as a sophisticated batman shirt?
Girls should come with a carfax report
Her vagina smelled like chicken
why do you say that
chicken smells like everything
Walked by a shop giving away free donuts this morning. Best walk of shame ever
I've been very busy/drunk lately... Sorry.
My getting drunk and marrying a stranger in Vegas final court annulment papers just came in the mail... I might frame that shit
This milkshake tastes better than sex. Priorities, I have them.
Apparently I covered myself in sunscreen before I went to bed. Im just assuming that due to the fact I found an empty bottle of sunblock
I'm at work, and just realized I the beer smell I keep getting random whiffs of is my bra. I fail at life.
PLAN B IS EXPENSIVE ON A $50 A WEEK BUDGET.
you don't even have a vagina so you don't get to tell me what to put in mine
Oh my god. We just got locked out of our cabin and went to the neighbor's to see if they had a key and caught the neighbor jerking it. My night > your night
Your clever response has earned you a blow job this week
Shhh embrace your inner whore. Just embrace it.
Randomize
