I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds
dude, it should not be this hard to find a bottomless mimosa on a friday morning
i had to write a bad check to buy franzia last weekend. i have my priorities in line.
and this is why we should make december sharting awareness month.
you yelled "who's job is it to keep me from breaking shit" and then immediately ripped off the molding as you fell down the stairs.
and everything will be beautiful and nothing will hurt and we will eat nachos
Update- I sold my hat to some drunk kid for 50 bucks. I used my earnings to buy beer on the way home. I realize to everyone else seeing me drinking on my balcony at 6am, I look like an alcoholic, but I'm thinking of it as a night cap
Black out Jordan is making huge strides. I didn't even pee on anyone or anything last night.
I am thankful for thumbs.
Because without thumbs, we would be dolphins.
Land dolphins.
she and her cat are both sick as fuck so they just sat there looking at each other with her nose dripping on the cat's. both out of fucks
Im like a saiyan, last weekends hangover will only make me stronger
how fucking stupid do you have to be to think I'm going to accept your friend request months after falling asleep during one night stand sex?
He was standing in the living room wearing a Donald Trump wig and looking very disappointed
He hit me up on Grindr and called me "bro." I just have to assume that the sex is going to be bad.
He's got a beautiful penis, I can't lie
Randomize
