Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
I just heard a guy scream "it must be five o' clock!!" and another guy screamed "somewhere!!!" out from different balconies.
watching espn. realized that the exact place those sportcenter guys are is where I got laid on the beach last superbowl. my sex spot is broadcasted nationwide
I just sold my mom a dimebag. Should I feel scared or sucessful?
looking back it was a good thing we were too wasted to fire up the chainsaw
dude, i turned on the light and asked if they were ok and they STILL didn't stop. Most determined sex EVER.
I was just informed that I have the perfect belly button for body shots... Best compliment ever.
He asked me if the reason I slept around is because I grew up in a broken home. I am so done fucking Christians.
I just smoked weed with my physics professor. Tell me how my life is this.
In my defense, there are at least three ways to die doing that, and I'm still here. America, Fuck Yeah!
I'm just waking up. I awoke in a towel (I must have showered at some point),i also found a half eaten McChicken in my bed and vomit in the toilet. Seems like I'm winning at life
I'M IN A SPINNING VORTEX OF SELF-HATRED AND HORNINESS
Bootycalls can't go limp that's like against the law
We hooked up and he sent me home with a plant and skittles lmao
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