Goddamnit I hate your level headedness
only if we run a train.
done.
i cant even explain all the reasons why i dont want to fuck you right now.
New plan, instead of sleeping with her, I'm just going to use her to sleep with the entire sorority.
He literally is quoting that 21 questions song, the 50 cent one. oh my god.
I found a tip from a dart in my bra this morning
Look, we all have our slutty phases. Mine is just forever.
I hijacked a bellboy cart and rolled into the party dancing on it
Pants-less sunday? Also I'm high and independence day is making me cry
im coming over
She keeps feeding me drugs. Its like I'm her baby bird or something
I had sex with marker all over my face so I can do just about anything.
You're going to be mad because I got baked, but not that mad because I'm bringing home kfc.
you bet i'm gonna rock his four-foot-two world.
Did your grand seduction include learning to play careless whisper on a kazoo or was that just a hobby
I can't be sure but I think I slept with a clown last night...
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