I just came up with the perfect plan. Once i'm a dentist i'm going to offer dad a million dollars to divorce mom.
just peed on my foot to get a spider off. that lazy.
I finally won that bet on when the anorexic girl would pass out at the gym. You owe me 10 now
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
Ugh. my cast still smells like fermenting hot tub water and bad decisions.
He titled his birthday party on facebook, "BJ's in PJ's- an adult slumber party." I'm the only one invited.
Last awkward moment of 2011: your ex gf grinding on me in front of her husband.
We now know how the night ended in arrest according to the flip camera I did 10 handle pulls and beer bonged a 40. My life choices are getting worse and worse this is your fault.
This is going to be the time I got green body paint on Chris' ceiling all over again...
finding an unopened condom on the ground can really change your outlook on the night
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
He was so wasted he lit his sink on fire with shit he found in his room....it was smokeless. Chemistry majors drunk = the coolest shit ever.
She said to call her, so I called her. Her boyfriend answered and traced the fucking call. I could litterally hear him yell because it turns out he lives in 4d
Don't you live in 4c?
I picked up a towel, and butt beads fell out of it.
Oh yeah... Surprise!
Grandma had me open the boxes that were delivered today. She got a sex swing, I've settled on "You go girl" as my official reaction.
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