You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
I found your twin in sf. His name is ryan. And you are the evil one.
remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
I am unable to type or say "unprotected, receptive anal sex" with a straight face. clearly, HIV was a poor research paper topic choice.
Found our threesome girl. She says I'm pretty. She doesn't know I'm pregnant. Yet. Think we can pull it off?
And now thanks to shrooms we all got a terrifying glimpse of what goes on in his head. I will not say I didn't see it coming when it turns out he made a suit out of people's skin
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
How am I so hungover that wearing sunglasses hurts my head?
Come make me food. I feel like if I go in the kitchen I will just get Gin.. and pass out in there.
Drunkenly making hamburger helper. I just whispered "I can't wait to have you in my mouth."
Throwing up into Nora's potty chair while simultaneously having beer shits was truly the highlight of my Christmas season.
You can't do wine Netflix and blow jobs in the bed you've had since 5th grade with your parents downstairs
It's 1am and I'm on LSD and I have diarrhea in a Dunkin Donuts. Help me
So I have three weeks to get rid of his girlfriend and fuck him senseless before he goes to jail
He’s like Batman if Batman went down on me and gave me multiple toe curling orgasms. He left without saying a word before I pulled the pillow off my face
Find out if he’s shared his techniques with a friend and set me up with him. You know I’ve always had a thing for Robin!!!!
Randomize
