There's a 34yo winking at me. Why do i find this weird when my bf is a 38yo married man?
i just google imaged poop.
my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
He left an unopened 12 pack of beer by my bed. I guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex..
I was unaware that a tutu and pasties was appropriate attire to this
Sharon took in a random bleeding stranger drunker than her, named her Nicole, and is feeding her jello shots on the toilet
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
They knew I had a party because the refrigerator settings were different, but they don't notice that we installed a new toilet seat so it's okay.
What part of "he tried to put his dick in my ear" did you not understand??
This cabbie knows where I live. Both awesome and weird.
I agreed not to hook up with any randoms while she's on vacation, if that isn't a show of good faith then I don't know what is...
Let it be known that on this day, the 26th of October, in the year 2016, I successfully put both of his balls in my mouth at once.
Me and some guy are crying in a port a potty together after another guy broke up with both of us.
Ohhhhhh, that night......I need to stop drinking, almost all of my conversations that take place Wed thru Sun after 8:30 are one blurry haze.
I need weed and if he's hot, maybe he can supply me with sex too.
Randomize