all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
while you were getting the key to the dorm from the lobby i was giving a drunk monolog to the security camera about my life
My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
I just wanna go home eat some pizza rolls, get warm and jerk off, and it's only 845. This shit was supposed to make me see unicorns. Not cry
Found my phone laying in a snow angel outside my apt this morning.
I'm going to replace you with a friend who will be happy when I find a huge penis
You called him your tasty little crouton. Which actually wasn't the weirdest part.
I will come to your office dressed as a bloody mary, hug you then leave is that a good plan?
yes. bring a barf bucket too. just. in. case.
I wasn't trying to be rude when I hurriedly walked past you, but I can not put in to words exactly how bad I had to shit.
Do you know what the cost code is for strip clubs? I'm filling out my company expense report right now
Major win last night. I traded my roommate two cigs for a six pack and a bag of beef jerky. This has been a Brian weekend update
He's like a computer from 2001 in a 2014 world. It just doesn't work. Lots of glitches.
Good, be his mentor. Like a tiny gay Yoda.
At least Shia Labeouf would encourage me to do this drinking contest
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
Randomize
