but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
WTF why am I in the Atlanta airport?
I've slept with so many tools that you'd think my pussy was Home Depot.
I'm 99% sure that for 3 hours I thought you were British. We must smoke that again.
New favorite sorority...they made me pancakes in the morning and welcomed back the walk of shame girls with a round of applause
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
Her throat is strong enough to gargle peanut butter. I'm sure you were satisfied.
His roommate left already and took the beer pong table so we had to take off his bedroom door. Maybe res life won't notice.
Oh, fuck yeah. I swear I came with every bite. Not even joking. Messiest meal ever.
Wow, thanks for ruining pizza for me. I didn't think it was possible.
He started a convo with me by saying that we went to high school together and then recommended I try meth.
We don't have the same problems as normal people do we?
Your boyfriend being in jail is really helping my social life! #GotASingleDrinkingBuddyAgain
I love how fuckboys immediately become cultured when I tell them I’m an artist.
If I wanna spend the whole night tied up and getting railed I'm allowed to do so
Randomize