bowling with tennis balls and shot glasses. whatever you dont knock down after 2 rolls, you drink.
Oh my god. Oh my god. Oh my god. I drunk emailed a professor on friday. Oh my god. Oh my god.
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
Found him. He was passed out on the couch at the new place in a room full of burnt pizza smoke.
And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container....
And your hair- I'd make sure to pee on it first.
I had to download the flashlight app so I could finish taking a dump when the power went out.
The interviewer had a hook for his right hand I TRIED TO SHAKE HIS HOOK WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME
I just had a flash of me drinking straight vodka out of a condom...
I just tried to text you by typing "whoa" into my contacts.
there's still three solo cups of your puke in my basement. so that needs to be solved at some point.
She dresses cool and she's mean. And she has fake boobs I feel like I can relate to her on so many levels.
I can't straight up say the only reason I smoked a couple bowls with you was for your three legged cat
I just conveyed my whole sex life to my mom over voicemail. Anddd, I'm hammered.
Top night. Top night.
Im four hours late for work AND i pissed my bed
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