Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
she thought don quixote was a type of tequila.
and after you realized your puke was bright blue, you started crying hysterically and screaming, "I DON'T WANT TO BE A SMURF!" no more uv blue for you.
Its a long story, but I have superglue on my tongue
So, do you know where my left shoe is? I mean, we were at a few places last night, and I called them. No luck for me.
You were rubbing sand all over yourself and everyone else and claiming you were "EXFOLIATING."
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
I woke up smelling like the ciroc you tried pouring into my mouth last night. I think my clothes are still soaked
i dont know whats weirder. that i told him he stabbed me in my dream or that he told me i wasnt the first girl to tell him theyve been killed by him in a dream
50% drunk capacity currently
She got called into work early but she left me a note that had directions to her roommates stash of weed on top of a two bacon and egg mcmuffins. I think I win.
I feel like a drive thru vagina
Me sprinting out of your house without my bra or shoes is our entire relationship defined in a single moment.
Just packed a snack to eat on the way to McDonald's. That stoned.
Randomize
