Dude why does my asshole itch so bad?
I'll teach you how to wipe better
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
I have taken lazynest to a new level. I took a picture of the notes on the board instead of writing them. I win.
Someone will be leaving this trip either pregnant or devastated.
This morning my doorman told me it was an accomplishment for me to be standing and conscious after last night.
After all you put him through, I think it was only right that you saluted the bartender when you left.
Im shrooming at the foot of a tree on top of a mountain. Feeling fly as fuckin socrates and bon iver.
What the hell do I have to give up to manifest a dick
not sure what the chiropractor did but my junk deserves a cape now.
You pee in parking lots....i drive home naked.....thats the american dream i was promised
he was Irish, I had to have sex with him.
he's drunk and referred to his shoes as foot condoms
Hitting up all my dealers for my birthday grams is paying off
I hate closet cases. I've been wooing this chick the entire quarantine. We finally meet up tonight, we're two drinks in, I've got my hand half way up her skirt and her husband calls. She promised to bring home dinner.
She has my name on her bucket list. I’m either getting laid or killed
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