I saw his package. It spoke to me.
I'm going to write a book about John. It's going to be called big dreams, little dick
she told me she was pregnant in a never have i ever game
I just made a moltov cocktail out of lubricant and a christmas bulb. The fire is still going strong. MERRY CHRISTMAS
Dude I'm drinking a martini out of a water bottle, I've become my parents.
so,apparently a side effect from having sex on the beach is now i have a tanline shaped like your sister
i hate you
He is offering to pay me back by sending me a dick pic.
.......................................
My thoughts exactly.
I have some memory of taking a dump in a guitar case.
The vodka told me to go iceskating on my frozen pool. I may have attempted.
And they were awkwardly all over each other in a Christian way.
Well I talked to some Canadians today, and I'm keeping a vigilant watch for sharks, so I'm pretty booked up.
i can't believe i'm giving you sex advice.
i've gotten sex advice under stranger situations. like while giving a blowjob behind the communications building.
I opened a bud lite with a fencing sword last night. Yeah you banged that guy.
I feel like I should acknowledge that I see you as a human and not a ragdoll sex object
This hangover is too legit right now. I just sneezed and almost puked
Randomize
