Hands down the best time I've ever had barfing.
He introduced me to his parents as the girl he made out with on Thursday night...
and being hungover still at 4 in the afternoon is NOT "having allergies"
You called in. Quitter. You stayed at home naked drinking again didnt you.
Haha that's why you never name the penis. Its like a pet, once named you will most likely get attached.
No. If you are gonna end this, you are gonna do it right. Not by getting bombed and falling on a strange penis. That was the old you.
he ran through my sliding door
in his defense that door gets complicated after 10 beers
I believe nudity is frowned upon at that establishment
Juss got out of jail; shes still in there tryin to sing her abc's backwards bc the cops neva asked her too... Whebever she gets to t she starts singin the tequilla song
Now I have the walk of shame to give the receptionist the bathroom key back, I've had it for 20 minutes. I should just smile and wink. She knows what went down.
Laying on a pile of just out of the dryer clothes because this is NOT real life.
there's a drunk hobo under the bridge wearing a jester hat and screaming at women
The crowd is chanting "we want sex!" There's a man dressed as bacon. That is all
be right there i have to get my cape
how do you politely tell someone their toddler looks alarmingly similar to the berries and cream guy
Randomize
