just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
The is a pregnant woman in this Chipolte wearing a shirt that simply says ‘OOPS!’ across the tummy.
That baby is bound to be under-loved.
She had been watching Bad Girls Club where the annoying girl always says "I RUN L.A.". After she got wasted she kept going up to strangers at the bar yelling "I RUN FAYETTEVILLE." I peed in her drink.
So they discontinued the hummer... Now people will have to go door to door to let others know they're assholes
There were 4 naked women demanding my presence. Of COURSE I got into the pool.
he wrote me a grocery list while i was passed out. every other item was gin. it went on for 4 pages.
so why was i the only one who woke up with ham stuck to my ass?
I think my sister is getting tired of me breaking into her house so I can sleep with random girls when shes not there
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
So somebody asked her is she's okay.She turned around,started running and screamed "Ballet is running through my veins" before doing a small pirouette.It's amazing how she managed not to fall.
ted dressed as a cardinal led an expedition across campus. i felt like one of the 12 apostles.
you weren't there so I had to flirt with him on your behalf
I cannot lay down. I will throw up my life and your life and the class hamster I had in third grade.
Just so you know, it is really hard to rehydrate when everything is spiked with everclear.
FYI telling a guy that you're glad his dick isn't big after giving him a bj, is NOT a compliment.
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