you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
I wish your couch was made out of beer. I would drink like half of it.
Don't look him in the eyes, it like looking at the sun but instead of burning your retinas it makes you wet and vulnerable
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
Eh maybe I should give her a chance. Let's see where making a porno takes the friendship
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
Mom called last night while I was at the bar and asked where I was. I told her I was on the highway to the danger zone while the guys were humming the top gun theme.
Its a holy bong. We had to bless the holy bong water.
I told the emergency room nurse I didn't want to stop and ruin the moment. She said safewords are there for a reason. Super condescending. Got her number though.
Turns out it's a fake number.
then he told me my boobs feel like "if you put mushroom soup in a baggie." I don't know how I'm supposed to feel about this.
I need to stop acting like a porn star that isn't getting paid
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
We left an ass print on the conference room table, but I don’t think anyone caught on
I gotta do like a month's worth of catch-up personal hygiene today in prep for Christmas so extended family doesn't ask if I'm depressed.
Not only is he funny, he had a REALLY big dick
He's old enough to be your father!
REALLY. BIG. DICK.
Randomize
