There is a stranger person in my roommates bed...
she burped and cried multiple times. it was like i was getting head from a baby.
is this the sara with the beer cane?
Guy next to me at the plasma center is high and watching porn on his itouch. I am wayy to hung over for this level of poor.
I blacked out the second time 3am rolled around. My brain was taking a beating trying to do that math.
im youtubing treadmill accidents. this is what i do at 2:10am
At least I cut out the pieces of your hair where I braided gum into it last night. Thank me later.
No. No. And hell no. If you are driving a Honda Fit you are not allowed to give me a dirty look. No.
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
Dude if it is ever said "everybody get inside the police helicopter just showed up.". That means it was a successful party.
He's German, so by default he gets to fuck me.
I just dropped $300 on lingerie. He better rip this off with his teeth.
I may be bringing home two guys tonight. I'f they won't go for a double-team you can have the lanky one.
I woke up with pitch black feet and crushed doritos around my mouth. That's how I determined how my night went
I woke up naked in a tent. I was more upset that the air mattress had deflated.
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