I'm eating all of the evidence.
i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
He came on my face and tried to draw out a smiley face because he said I looked like I had a bad day
My mom make sausages for dinner...and all I could think of was your dog's penis..
Jessi just used the excuse "it's not you it's me" to get out of getting a lap dance.
He's got serious oatmeal ass...take a moment and admire how google voice to text was able to detect oatmeal ass....twice
Because if the best sex I've ever had was with a gay guy, then God help me.
Man, only now that I'm single is it painfully obvious that I have zero booty calls in waiting. This could be a cold winter
Well, I've taken the art of car peeing to new heights
So I totally just used margarita salt for a body scrub.
I mean it was fine and all but I just don't understand why a man would need all that Simon Cowell paraphanelia
You could be a whistle.. And just ask bitches if they want to blow you all night
I know I've never told you this before.. but Gyro sauce makes everything okay.
So, I without a doubt haven't used the bag I'm now carrying since we were dating. Just had to discreetly throw out an unopened magnum in a bus station.
I definitely almost just pulled a condom out of my purse instead of money for my dad.
Randomize
