even my farts smell like vagina
I just finished washing your number off of my chest. I'm Bryan by the way.
I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
For future reference, the words 'big' and 'problem' should be used sparingly with a person whom you have recently had copious amounts of unprotected sex
can you look at this picture and tell me if you think this my kid?
He blended the pizza with water and drank the whole thing. He is my hangover hero
doing shots of $6 a bottle whiskey and chasing it with milk. my own personal way of saying fuck life.
College: when you have to set an alarm to start drinking
I`m watching Shallow Hal & Jack Black has better nipples than Jimmy's chick.
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
Everyone thinks I'm sleeping but I'm actually just melting.
They need to eat meat, go down on me the first time, every time, and know how to pull my hair. And there's a height requirement for this ride
I'm at this party and a blind kid just walked in and asked "where is the fucking pong table"
I know she’s pissed I fucked her husband, but I didn’t know he was married until after I blew him at Legoland
Randomize
