new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
please hold off on going into labor, i might need you to take me to the free clinic
So tomorrow I have my performance review with my boss who I banged. When I go in should I ask if this review will be rating my sex or work performance?
In the store looking for it now. They put the theatre/script section right next to the gay erotica section. Rude. Practical, but rude.
You were literally hanging out the window and dancing to the remix to Ignition when we drove you home
When do you sleep by the way. I was surprised when I went to work at 1 am,left at 7 am and had a text from you somewhere in between
I just vodka nap now...
I asked him for something to clean up with after sex and he handed me a sham wow. A SHAM WOW
Everyone's impressed that I actually got pee all over his car since I'm a girl and they're a little curious..
This is not my bathroom and these are not my pants
I just found your ripped underwear on my chandelier. Care to explain?
Ive already seen two fights and a clown urinating in the middle of the street. Hello Halloween 2014.
i mostly like you because you have a nice nose and that's an important trait to pass on to my future children
The only good thing about the sex was that he finally cracked the spot on my back that's been hurting.
I'm here. Help me get the salsa and bong inside.
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