Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
My butt just had a miscarriage. It was yours. I'm sorry. You would have been a great sexually confused parent.
my shit smells like andre
he said 'i want to be the peanut butter to your jelly, just without the crust' and then tried to take me shirt off
shouldve known this week was gonna be bad when I threw up in my coffee mug
Make sure your heart doesn't explode. These are words of wisdom.
don't judge my taste in strippers
Something tells me your "Titties for Tracy Morgan" fundraiser won't pan out.
That sounds worse than that time you thought out an entire story of how big bird would kill you
At one point in the night, as we were running from the cops, I clearly remember you yelling "little gnomes are tickling the insides of my body!" ...that high.
she just kept pointing at the cows and calling them field penguins
friends who go to the bar together leave the bar together and im not leaving you behind ohana means family
Did April legit get married in a parking lot?
He agreed to matching Christmas pajamas today, no guy does that for a girl he’s not seriously considering marrying.
Randomize
