It's official. Every single female in their late teens and early 20s get their fb statuses from a pool of cliched "quotes" which all say, without saying, "boys treat me like shit, I know they do, but one day I'll find 'the guy' who will treat me right no matter how psychotic I am." Vom.
how many days can you live off of Vicodin and frosty?? im going on 4 days......
I just had my first experience getting hit on by a guy. It was really awkward, he touched my chest and invited me to a gay bar because "women get drunk and let their guard down at gay bars"
thats actually pretty good logic
The story about him having a girlfriend changed real fast when he found out that I was a gymnast
Just saw a porn entitled "Nad Biter". Redheads are now forever out of the picture.
In case you were unaware playing with rabbits on ecstasy is the greatest thing ever. I feel like I'm ODing on adorable right now.
I'm sorry but I have to break up with you. My wife is pregnant and can't have a girlfriend too.
Just wanna let u know that we are almost on the pity blow job level of our friendship.
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
I just realized that there are baby oil soaked hand prints on the wall over my bed. Last night was a good night.
She told me she brought a guy home but that he looked pickled. And no, that's not an autocorrect.
Hahahah pickled
I asked her what she meant and she said that he looked like he had soaked in water.
I woke up naked and only wearing cowboy boots, wrapped in a curtain that was still attached to the pole
He held my hand in public and I nearly came. Like he needs to be inside of me yesterday.
I'm sorry I didn't get you anything for your birthday
It's just you didn't get me the fucking bear suit last year
Im wearing black today mourning the orgasm i couldn't get this morning :(
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