would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
Girls night always turns into let's seperate and get laid night.
She is crazy, dude. She actually bit me on the gootch.
were you high?
When?
Actually just blanket yes to that question
drunk caitlyn doesn't know how to work gmail. so know an email has been sent to the entire campus with a picture of me naked eating a bagel attached.
When I woke up next to him on the living room floor, my glasses were broken and it felt like someone rubbed a cactus all over my vag
I drank so much that my feet don't feel like my feet
Stop calling my penis "Fat Jesus"
Just ignore the penis. It's won't bother you. I promise.
It's a sad day when a deadly hurricane headed your way is less depressing than your relationship status.
He referred to his penis as "The Purple Headed Yogurt Slinger." I'm both disgusted and turned on
Fuck this. I'm adopting 12 cats and naming them after the 12 disciples. Maybe Jesus will have sympathy for me then.
I knew how high you were when you put a french fry in your mouth and said 'fuck, this tastes like meat but feels blue.'
Do you remember trying to sleep under the pool table while wearing a reflective vest?
Nope.
You kept saying you had to be safe.
I gave her a cheerful high five and she turned to me and said, "we should do that with our genitals." I may have to marry this girl.
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