I have funfetti in my underwear...will you come get me?
I think the recipie for awesome sauce is butter and semen
if it were possible I'd exchange my vagina for a diff one on the black market.
Let me just say....i'm sorry about setting your carpet on fire. I had no idea that the paper towel would burn that quickly.
Chick last night said she only gets off if she rubs her childhood blanket her parents gave her during sex
if i can hear my landlord's phone ring you think be can hear my vibrator?
Well to me, someone is not really my friend until we go to a mcdonalds drunk at 4am. It's like a right of passage
Just remembered I railed lines while holding a puppy
I can't help that I bring out the sex in people
haha all our friends are at the carnival and I'm on stage dry humping a 40 year old
I threw up in my brother's Easter basket
Sexting my TA in lecture = awesome
Like I said, all hypothetical...unless, of course, you'd be into that. My heart may skip a beat.
He nicknamed his dick "the fountain of youth" I think it's time to move on...
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
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