You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
Michelle and I recorded her bunny humping it's little rubber black ball.
we made a giant pot of alcholic jello. i filled a gallon bag and brought it to dorms. desk guy gave me weird looks, he doesnt realize this is how i will pass all of my room searches
i fucked her mom dude
there's something to tell the kids
I started making my dollar bills into rings for the strippers
Just realized how sopa could affect my ability to watch porn, son of a bitch
Dear slutty diary: I lied about feeling guilty of being a homewrecker in order to have more sex. it worked.
IS SOBER OCTOBER A THING?? WTF WHO ARE THESE PEOPLE?
I came back and almost ran over two people passed out in my driveway I've never met before in my life
On NPR this morning, farmers are feeding weed to pigs. The result: pot bacon. Life just got better.
I'm jealous that you can use my boobs as pillows & I can't.
I don't trust a bar IN TENNESSEE that doesn't have Jack Daniels.
I don't have the resources to adequately explain this. I need like a Powerpoint presentation and also Vodka.
Just got up.... With the club stamp on my ass.... How did it got there????
Im so unlucky if I fell in a barrel of dicks, I'd come our sucking my thumb
Randomize
