I bet i've been more pregnant than you.
Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
Girl just texted me a pic of her boobs with the caption "don't think I'm a whore"
fuck that im pissed. when I come back im ripping forskin off.
When I realized it was a dog, and I still had a boner, it was awkward.
Drunk. I slept-stripped.
By myself.
You know you drank too much last night when your mouthwash tastes like water
He stumbled into my room, flopped on my bed, shoes on my pillow and asked me for a juice box. Then fell asleep with the juice box on his forehead.
Someone downtown drunkenly stole the antenna off of her car... while she was driving.
how do you expect me to pass the time when I'm too old to be jailbait but too young to legally drink
We need to get stoned and watch Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 2. This has become a priority. Schedule accordingly.
We BOTH lost our virginities there. It's basically a landmark.
i may or may not have triedto pee like a boy and then dipped cheese ino the olive oil
I just fell in love with a beard, the guy it's attached to isn't great but I think I'm going to take one for the team
Just got drunk at the Cheesecake Factory again. Made me think of you.
That's the nicest thing anyone's ever said to me.
Randomize
