matts gf stood and watched my naked ass gather my clothes off his floor this morning. sweet.
"Tonight I'm turning swine flu into an std" this might be how zombies come about. Peace civilization.
You must have had one hell of a time explaining to that girl why aladin soundtrack was playing on repeat in your room when you got back
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
I might have a beer. Just to keep this hangover on its toes.
It was almost awkward to look at you naked while listening to Circle of Life. Just saying.
You threw a bunch of trashcans into the middle of the street and nothing happened. I fell on one car and suddenly there were cops everywhere...
Just saying goodbye until I figure this whole "warrant out for my arrest" thing
Who the fuck was that guy he kept pulling his dick out walking up to people trying to hand it to people and saying go ahead open the door like it was a door knob
My mom got me high and then dropped me off at a church.
I've abandoned trying to find a logical explanation of your life.
Just got escorted to my 7:45 class by an old woman because I was too hungover to not realize I was four floors too high.
Regret, thy taste is box wine.
he fucked me wearing a cowboy hat and made grits after
We call him Texas for a reason.
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
Dude I may be rolling but there's no way I can make up a 12 ft tall giant green man waving to me right now
False alarm, security just told me it's a radio tower
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