Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
Should I tell Kevin that my finger was in his sister's ass last night?
You told me I was special while we were having sex and I asked why.
What did I say?
Don't ask me questions while I have an erection,
Just proof I should've brought the airhorn with me to class.
I DON'T CARE WHAT THE CIRCUMSTANCES ARE NEVER VOMIT IN MY PURSE AGAIN.
Also there's a dick sized hole in my tights...should I be worried?
Its not personal, its just business. I'm the Donald Trump of blowjobs.
FYI I just found your friend. Asleep. In. My. Kayak. In. Pool.
Carving a pumpkin in a gay bar at 2am. How did my life get to be this way.
I was trying to get everyone to go to the bar but I puked on my hands, so nobody took me seriously.
It was a great idea until we got stuck in a ditch. We had to call redneck cousin 1
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
Is it okay to send him a "thanks for the sexual awakening" note?
I re-seduced my fuck buddy...must be the luck of the Irish!
YALL MOTHERFUCKERS WANNA WATCH HEAVY METAL AND SMOKE WEED AND PLAY POOL AND DRINK BEER AND SMOKE WEED
Randomize
