He told me he looked up all the foods that make cum taste better and he put it all on his moms shopping list. she came through my line. this ones a keeper I think.
Just topless shotgunned a bud light alone. I am about to peer mentor the shit out of these freshmen.
im just going to wait until i dont feel like the grim reaper is having sex with me
no. it doesnt count as road head if youre parked
Some guy just bought a handle of cuervo, a curling iron, and a power drill. Paid with a jar of change. I'm torn between avoiding him and befriending him..
SHE JUST SHOVED MY HAND DOWN HER PANTS AT THE BAR
Don't text me with that hand
The least you could do before I go into your room is throw away the condom wrapper from the other girl I know you're banging.
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
You don't have anything to lose--we've established that he's not going to murder you and he smells good.
he may or may not have motorboated me on the steps of the library of congress
It's like I'm getting a welcome home parade with sex!
I just don't know how to say "I want to have sex you with before you graduate" in a classy way
He eats ass but won’t hold open doors. My kinda guy.
Chivalry really is dead.
We found him. He just came running out of the closet with a bruise on his face saying he has been fighting elves in Narnia for a year.
before i went to bed i wrote myself a note that says 'i feel all swirly'
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