It's a shame that I don't know his last name. Actually, it's an ever bigger shame that I don't know his first name
How the fuck did I get small bruises all over my body?
Well you were laying on the couch naked after the girls left, staring into space, and I went over to the pool table and threw every ball as hard as I could at you from point blank range . You didn't flinch, blink, or scream for any of them. next time maybe you won't fuck my girl while I'm taking a shit
just to let you know coffee and vodka was a bad way to start the day
I cant even remember his name or what he looked like. all I remember is what the tattoo on his forearm looked like.
well, he kindof looked like a walmart greeter. I tried to stop you
Ps. The strap-on in the pic i sent you last night was not mine. Just wanted to clear that up.
I got kicked out because I puked again I'm on the fire truck outside
I just looked at the guy in the car next to me and he was wearing a divers mask. We just nodded cause we both understood.
I slept with him that night and I'm not sure if my lack of enthusiasm was obvious but I found him eating ice cream in the bathtub the next morning. Mom will be so proud.
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
That shit was hard as fuck. It felt like a mountain entering my vagina.
dude new orleans is fucking wild these two guys just performed dueling banjos except they were actually fighting with the banjos
gave out my moms phone number instead of mine last night... thattttttttttttttt dunk.
Would you say that skipping class and sitting alone in my room singing One Direction to myself and sobbing is an acceptable way to deal with the break-up
You should not be involved with someone who smells like that. Because that smell seriously does not go away. Even if you can't actually smell it at any given point, it will still haunt you
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