so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
you know you've been playing too much mario kart when you see a curve in the road ahead and see yourself drifting around it
I got a 69.7 in accounting. I have this whole doing the bare minimum down to a science
just heard this guy tell a story about how he got boat head. i want his life
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
Oh and you pulled your pants down outside in front of like five people, held my hand, then peed.
Ive consumed more rum studying for law school finals than I did that time I fucked that fat chick in the back of VW Beetle. It's all ugly, but for different reasons.
So you met him?
More like I walked in on him, drunk, naked, and doing "bathtub yoga". Please stop bringing your dates home.
Dad had me doing shots of chocolate mint Everclear last night. I've never felt closer to him.
New rule for Thursdays: no high gymnastics
I caught myself flirting with clients today. Someone needs to take me to pound town before I self destruct. This is a code red. I repeat code red.
We are horrible
Yeah but we're also awesome
What can i say, my face is nice and my body is just unreal. And my beer pouring/stealing is incredible \n
Just trying to show you I care.
Isn't it supposed to be "what would you like for dinner?" instead of "how do you take your blow?"
Hey, you're the one who asked me to mc to move in.
That's the only way to watch Gumby. Either age 5 or high.
Randomize
