Ppl just aren't as funny as we are
Have you ever noticed that nowhere is the same thing as now here, i get my best ideas when i smoke
my math professor just wrote "parallel" on the board, but spelled it "pararrel". guess what country he's from
Improvement. She went from pretending she was the soccer ball in the world cup games and it hurt when they kicked her to passed out on the floor.
Yeah I tried to leave with 3 drinks and the bouncer wouldn't let me, I slammed all 3 right in front of him and football spiked them in the trash can
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
I think all I remember saying is, "I love Chris Berman's voice" and then I passed out
lets just say that i have already today: gotten drunk, got in a fight, got stranded an hour away from home, found a ride, sobered up, and slept. woken back up, and here i am. its been a long day. Day drinking is bad for friendships.
I was seriously concerned she had died since she wasn't moving at all, but then I asked here where she was last night and her response was to hip thrust the air.
the chips you spilled whiskey on is not the same thing as Irish breakfast potatoes
People are stripping in McDonalds. Do I join?
YES.
I just shit a hot coal. Pretty sure it's that fireball shot from yesterday.
I'm gonna face reality, tomorrow morning is not on my hungover agenda.
Other than unclothed paranormal encounters, how has your day been
I just gave myself a foot massage. #SingleAsFuck
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