I would kick you in the vagina but I'm afraid I would lose my shoe.
she woke up with a sticky ear
do girls know yet that the best boners are in the morning?
There is no way he is gay with that hair.
I cannot remember December 31 for the past 3 years. it might as well not even exist on my calendar anymore
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
It's happening again. I feel like I'm under water and my heart beat matches "Teenage Wasteland"
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
You know what i just remembered? I asked the 8 ball if i was gonna get kicked out this semester before any of this stuff happened and it said yes. ITS REAL.
I pulled out moves I did not even know I possessed, our fucking de-throned gods
Are you doing trivia tonite? Also sorry I peed on you.
Did we really just set fireworks off in a cemetery? Or was that a dream?
I think so and I think we were sober.
Nice. I like it when Maker's Mark makes decisions for you.
I woke up and found my apartment really clean, appearantly drunk me couldn't tolerate living there anymore and left sober me a lot of insulting post-its...
dude im trying to eat his ass so can you stop for 10 minutes
Randomize
