I think id rather eat ped egg shavings.
After me and my boyfriend broke up I had to resist the temptation to send a mass text to my booty calls saying "thank you for your patience. it will be rewarded."
why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
It's chlamydia! Thank God!
You're going to have to buy me a lot of drinks before the bee suit goes on...
I think the duck is in my room. You have no idea how much worse a duck makes a hangover
I judge a person on how well they respect their vaginas... I can tell by the lack of respect she has for hers I dislike her.
karaoke mosh pit has descended into fisticuffs, send backup
He texted back and said he would hook up if he didn't have a test at 8am. It's really hard to be annoyed by how good of a student he is.
Yeah that sucks. That's why I stick to deadbeat sports management majors.
Although I commend your efforts to keep my penis away from her, your sister is now booty walking up my stairs. Good game though, good game.
It's Been clinically proven that people who have sex 6 or more times per week are happier than those who don't. Just and FYI. For your mental health. From a soon so be psychologist. Who is drunk.
He wins the giant teddy bear for getting the neuva ring on the dick
I never thought I would have to put a band-aid on my penis.
I think I just found my soul mate...he's wearing a zebra striped onesie and is into Michael Jackson...I'll explain in the morning.
Dude she passed out on the floor so you covered her with a blanket to make sure "no one would notice her"
And when she started moving around and making noises you told everyone, "it's okay, it's just my roomba under there".......
Randomize
