what do you think about when you wanna get rid of a boner?
dying kittens.
guys are not supposed to queef...right?
I just gave my patient permission to swallow while pregnant. She was so embarrassed to ask...but her bf was really happy with the answer.
I'm not saying we can't have sex tonight, I'm just saying we have to work it around Lost.
don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
I don't have the urge to be a home-wrecker with these two. I think I've grown, don't you?
He poured all of the vodka into the sweet tea and said that tomorrow it would be called 'surprise drunk.' then we had sex.
I need to go back to work. I've had so much sex since the shutdown started. last night we tried and a little flag came out saying "nothing is left in here try a week later"
I'm at the level of despair that only Panda Express can fix
I think he knows I took a picture of him. Why I don't get punched in the face more often is anyone's guess.
lmao he sent me a snapped but i'm afraid to open.
i think i have dick pic PTSD.
Currently watching high school football on ESPN. Drink every time they say 'this kid's got potential' or 'look at this kid go' or 'atta kid' We're done for..
also, i'm not sure if i'm proud to say this but our regional manager's hot fiance was grinding on me at the reception while he stood and watched.
i suppose that explains why he told me he plans on promoting you this Friday.
You were sober bartending last night right?
Sorta. I remember you crying, ripping rose petals off the flower stem and slowly sprinkling them behind the bar at me and singing softly
Romantic
When they said they were gonna tattoo each other's gamer tags on their asses, I knew I no longer had a boyfriend.
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