two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
i know we're in college but you cant booty call me at 3 in the afternoon. i dont care how drunk you are.
Don't worry about it. I've taken so much Plan B, my uterus is purely for show now.
omg I just had an epiphany about why I grew into such a whore....
HAVE YOU EVER NOTICED WHAT THE SPICE GIRLS USED TO WEAR?!? those were my idols, I never stood a chance
He ran around the party with a broken foot/ankle with a gallon of Malibu yelling "it must rain coconut"
I thought I was invisible, then some guy flashed his high beams at me and I realized my lights weren't on...not invisible.
We're having soft pretzels and cheese dip for dinner tonight. Like fucking adults.
I just told a bottle to be chill
and meant it
Do you sleep with the same women I've already slept with on purpose?
the kid next to me in math class is drawing gay porn. it's good, but that is beside the point
I was chasing moonshine with vodka last night. I'm still not sure how I'm sober right now.
Fuck the library it's too quiet and makes me uneasy. I feel like I'm so isolated I should take off my pants or something
U NO SLUT. YOUR HEART IS JUST FREE.
one of my coworkers asked me if I was PMSing today...... excuse me sir, but it is none of your business as to what my uterus is or is not doing right now. fucker.
and yea, I'm PMSing.
I feel like i'm being yelled at when you type in all caps.Did you just have bad sex?
Randomize
