barbara walters just said penis...
Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
rather than putting your name in guys phones, you just texted 90999 to donate $10 to Haiti and then gave it back to them
last time i saw her she was begging the broken jukebox to play lady gaga.
Day two of taking my adderall. I just organized the pantry and alphabetized my dvds. I've missed my mind on drugs
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
im kinda looking forward to winter break. ive been away from home for so long i think i can trick my vagina into thinking that these arent the same people ive been hooking up with since high school...
I maybe just had sex outside in broad daylight. At a state park. Please be proud.
I just woke up to three dick pics. Apparently in my blacked out state. I was asking for them as the new valentines day card.
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
I've been eating like all day, let me suffer my one 'Dear lord, I'm the size of a small whale. One that doesn't even need to find being killed by illegal whaling because I'm not even big enough to provide an decent blubber, but still big enough to be considered for a brief moment.' moment in peace.
The holidays are too long. I always run out of adderall before I run out of family. you got any left?
That was so not worth putting pants on for.
You KNOW it was a good night when you find French fries AND taco remnants in your bra when you get home...
You know you're getting old when you pick up hot sorority girls at the bar, and they write down their phone number, and under it 'we're great babysitters!'
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