we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
dear life, i get it, drinking is not a contest
I woke up covered in my own vomit with a pocket full of napkins. I guess I knew I would need them, but was not coherent enough to use them before passing out.
no. i just ate a whole thing of hot dogs. me and regret are sleepng alone tonigh.
Fine. Just this once and because its veterans day will I send you a picture of my tits. You're lucky I love this country.
did i get hit in the head with a hammer? someone just asked me...
all i remember of last night is that i was drinking jameson and then NOTHING i do remember walking a dog though\nwhich is sooo fucking weird
OH MY GOD ITS COMING BACK I PUT THE DOG IN THE HOTTUB TOO
Any formal decision about whether we're planning to objectify naked women with daddy issues tonight?
The condition was that I had to eat her out to Beethoven
If you put those two in a room together it'd be like a Taylor Swift fantasy and an Adele nightmare just licking faces
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
WHO THE FUCK PEED IN MY BONG
Just letting you know that I just spent 11 dollars on a car wash... Because you had sex in my car.
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
Relationship goals: we both wore red underwear tonight. Except he won’t know because my bra been off but it’s the thought that counts I guess.
Randomize
