Of course im so fucked up sarah. I fight away tornadoes.
he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
I just got three quarters of the way there before I realized I was way too stoned for class so I bought a smoothie and walked home.
bad: friday night i tripped and fell outside my dorm. worse: i just found out i broke my ankle. worst: i was shitfaced and don't remember any of this.
Id love to say been there done that but im a slutty drunk not a stupid one.
med student doing my blood work at the AIDS clinic just hit on me after I told him i was having unprotected sex, but didn't think i had HIV.
I'd rather say I'm a whore then admit it's his child. Its that bad.
You left your underwear here. I'm hanging it on my door
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
My god this is going to ruin whatever Vegas left of our souls...
hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking if you had a pulse
When I was leaving this morning he gave me some candy off his floor to prove he was a nice guy... He definitely knows the way to my heart. Best one night stand ever
She is so graceful and lady-like, like a swan... On meth
Can we just talk about the fact that the last time I got laid I was wearing a Jurassic Park tshirt?
Her mom came in and passed out drunk on the floor next to us while she was riding me, "it's all good, she does this all the time" is what she said
THIS IS EXACTLY WHY YOU SHOULDA FUCKED BEFORE YOU MADE HIM YOUR BOYFRIEND, CURVED DICKS ARE NOT OK
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