Having dinner with my dad, watching the news and some AIDS prevention ad comes on. My dad then kindly informs me that he doesn't enjoy the feel of condoms.
some guy just got out of his chair quietly. Laid down on the floor and is now asleep in between rows in my lecture hall. He must have had a rough night.
she peed on how many people?
I know the scar will be in an obvious place, that's why I'm certain it'll score me cancer blowjobs
Today I learned you can't titshake with a corset on.
should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
I was afraid that she would smell her boyfriend's penis on my breath while we were talking.
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
I'm really sorry that I blew your friend in your bed, but to be fair he started it.
Don't make emojis simulating eating me out
Just gave my thesis presentation, pretty sure I made out with the admissions woman last night.
You were laying in a hotel bed drinking beer from a straw while you demanded everyone to kiss your foot tattoo.
You know you turned your life around when your drunk eating salad at 3 am on a Friday night
the only thing she has in her apt so far is toilet paper and shot glasses. you can see where the priorities lie.
Went to a club yesterday was dirty dancing with this guy, reached back to move my hair and punched him in the face.
ANTI-GAME
I am so proud to call you my friend
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