***** fucked a guy with one hand last night
i just ordered a pitcher of margaritas for me and a friend but she called and canceled. oh well, looks like im getting trashed alone.
the waiter who hardly speaks english told me "i go get your medicine now"
this medicine is soooo good.
We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
I'm sitting by myself in my bra eating a waffle and drinking pineapple rum. gamedaaaayyyyyyy
Acid flashbacks - fact or fiction? Have been seeing a surprising amount of sparkly shit this afternoon...
So what's the verdict on pumpkin smoothies with vodka? I puked.
This has been your unwelcomed wake-up call, brought to you by exes united. Have a good day, to opt out please type "STOP", to continue but act as though they do not exist please enter "DON'T CARE" for random daily wake up texts by exes united please press "PSYCHO!"
My final act is to send you this message. I love you. Tell my family that I love them. Except my dad. Tell him I said "Eh..." while rocking your hand side to side. And tell Tim that I will always love the idea of him. Tell Caleb I love him so. Take care of Miss Kitty Fantastico. Tell the world that I will watch over. Good bye. I love you.
I wish you were awake and high the same times I was awake and high. And also in the same state. So we can fuck passionately.
I'll remember. Also, I owe you 200 for a pair of shoes that I carelessly bought to improve my spinal structure, to improve my health and ensure that I love to be 300 years old. Like Adam. Of the bible.
I'm not gonna get my cat high anymore because what if he has a heart attack. I don't want to be responsible for that shit
Woke up with a 22 year old with the number for a different girl written on my stomach, almost 30 can suck my dick I still got this shit
I made out with a mom and her daughter and got a black eye, so yeah, my birthday went well
I want to ride his face like a jet ski
I woke up with my winter coat on, next to a polaroid of me, her and a swan...so no I don't remember our conversation.
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