return my video game
you know your drunk when 7 soccer players cant catch up to a tranny in high heels who just stole your wallet
Goddamn it, are you fucking her sister?
did you know it's going to storm tonight?
You bitch. At least tell Laura she's a better kisser.
beer pong: waldo and ernie vs. bacon and eggs... i love halloween
So I'm at planned parenthood and there are 5 people here from Friday's party.
you started putting condoms on anything with a point, then you were yelling at the lamp for using your last condom...
at least i was responsible enough to take off my shoe and throw up in it
Whiskey + Water + Crystal Lite does NOT = refreshing summer time drink.....
I let a guy with dreads drive my car, then demanded he take me back cause I don't let strangers drive my car, while repeatedly apologizing for being a cock block.
I wasn't going to take him home until I heard "hung like a water buffalo" then curiosity got the best of me.
Are taco bell cups microwave safe? I can't make that judgement right now
She's drinking vodka out of a windex bottle. She is spraying it in her mouth and at strangers.
I woke up on your bathroom floor, i used your towel I found laying on the floor as a cape to get to your bed. I thought it would help me walk straight if I looked like a superhero
Ah that wonderful moment when you realise the bookmark you were using in a book you lent your mum is actually a receipt from a strip club
Showed up to family party blacked out and in a turkey costume. I'd say thanksgiving was a success.
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