Broke my phone, have no voice AND I was blackout by 3 p.m...I'm betting I had a great time.
Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
There is a woman in the bar breastfeeding a baby. Doing shots. Gotta love maryland Applebees.
I took my pants off in the cab and tried to bite his ear. Not going oout for awhile
It's Christmas week. I wouldn't know what to do if i wasn't hung over.
My dry heaving is complicating my ability to speak.
MASS TEXT! MASS TEXT! Your sad horny friend has finally gotten it in and can go back to being normal once again. You're welcome.
Hungover/still slightly drunk at work. Opened a bag of cheese with a box cutter. Pretty sure I need stitches.
Hey man, I found your crocs and your visor in the road. Got em for you.
I just remembered something. We made out last night, people cheered.
I'm on a party bus with a stripper pole with middle aged women who have all started drinking
God bless your soul.
before i could order beers she was on stage 69ing with a stripper
I made it out of the house. Success.
It's not better out here. I'm at Target hyperventilating in the aisles.
I remember her making the first martini but the rest of the weekend is a blur of vodka, high heels and sex toys.
First time being used by a cougar. Definitely okay with it
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