your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
This is a mass text. Does anyone know where I am?
Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
My dick is covered in produce stickers. I suspect you
The nurse gave me a funny look when I said I thought I have an std in my throat. Bet she only does it missionary too
John stretched a condom over his face and tried to puke in it.
I just found that video of you jumping onto my exercise ball feet-first and face-planting into my shoe rack.
I really like her...she always overpays me for xanax and still feels the need to fuck me to make up for it....
"DO YOU LIKE FLYING KITES" WORKED AS A PICKUP LINE. SUCK IT.
That's the only way to get approved without a guarantor.
WHAT DOES THAT MEAN WHAT FUCKING LANGUAGE ARE YOU SPEAKING
What is it with the dog running away when we have epic hangovers
If there was a card that said "I'm sorry for throwing up on your bathroom counter" I would send it to you.
I need ecstasy. And, before you ask, the answer is yes right now
I just realized that Margarita Wednesdays are so much better now when followed by No Work Thursdays.
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
Randomize
