oh vodka. i could write you a sonnet.
I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
Just walked in and was handcuffed to a police woman. Fire fighter woman poured franzia down my throat. Aaaaand I just ate cookies off of Little Red Riding Hood's tits.
If he really loved his girlfriend then he'd wear a condom when he fucks me.
im not even sure if i fucked her just woke up in her closet.
How many times can I tell him that I wasn't expecting sex before he finally figures out that I'm just too lazy to shave?
I'm taking stock of m life as of right now and my Friday night plans are to drink a 30 rack by myself so I can have a tv stand when it is finished
Once I hang curtains in my truck bed that'll be feasible
I think I need to see a chiropractor after giving that blow job
What type of condoms do you get ? Oh and do you want a slurpee while I'm here
I'm about to eat a 2month old weed brownie I just found in my lax duffel bag. will you answer if I call you in like an hour and a half
I need to calm my uterus...
He kept apologizing that the nerve damage makes him take a while to finish. Meanwhile he gave me 3 orgasms and a leg cramp
Only you could benefit from a reckless driver
We made a blanket fort in my dorm room and fucked in it. Twice. I'm in love.
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