Okay you're seriously so fucking annoying its like having a baby
Who would have thought the night we were surrounded by 4 cops would be the most responsible night of the week.
omg. don't know how to spell his name, but hot new zealand guy's dick is magic
Oh my god my life; so much cake and so little sex
i said good morning to each one of his abs personally
We need to stop celebrating holidays that dont belong to us
I dont think he stole the pillow. I mean if he wanted a souvenir, my thong was on the nightstand.
im celebrating the fact lent is over and i can give blow jobs again.
There are pre-booty call contracts for a reason. I have no intention of calling you tomorrow.
Do you need my fax number or something?
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
And I was chasing apple pie moonshine (provided by cops) with bud light limeys. In a golf cart, wearing a tiara.
This is the point in ur life where u should realize there's nothing left but a spiral of shame
I should but I don't. All I see is an escalator of success
It was like an ecstasy filled massage for my vagina.
That's the best compliment I have ever received.
Please come home, i don't want to feel like basket garbage girl but I'm in your alleyway and not sure how to change that.
I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy
Randomize
