there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
turns out the website for Dick's Sporting goods is not "dicks.com". It was a win either way.
On the one hand, she would be the biggest mistake of my year. On the other hand, she's here and drunk.
just as they were cutting his pants off he made em stop & said "everyone knows about shrinkage right".
I will not ride trays down a flight of stairs topless and drunk....
I tried to take a photo for proof but couldn't hold my penis, camera, and measuring tape all at the same time.
i feel like my tongue has its own mouth, and that mouth just bit its tongue and is clenching its teeth.
so far, I've observed him try to hit on 3 girls, 1 guy and a bar stool. Humanity is amazing from a sober point of view.
I rigged together two of my vibrators for more power... I've created a monster.
I don't care how sexy you think I look in my scrubs. Wanting a blow job is not a medical emergency.
Teenager with grandparents staying in their room: is to blue balls, as parent waiting for teen to come home safe: is to sleep. You will live- love mom
Well, somebody (me) put on reindeer antlers, crawled around on the floor, and meowed at people... So yeah, I'd say it was "one of those nights"
I resisted the urge to announce that it looks like a big crystal butt plug
I'm told I threw my cigarettes at the TV one by one Shouting about the cast of Community.
He managed to rip my nipple last night....
Randomize
