Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
I thought we agreed I wasn't a screamer?
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
bitch got booty called while we were making out. and then she actually left.
theres still like 7 beers in the gutter from the roof party we had last night. i dont know how we got up there. but we need to get those beers down.
The cop and I then joined forces to get you up off the sidewalk.
When someone comes out of your vagina and stomps on your dreams, you'll understand.
So on a scale of 1 to Friendship-Over, how mad would you be if a rando I brought home sharted on the shag carpet in the living room?
Calling a preemptive no homo on tonight's activities
The only rule I'm making for myself tonight is to not drink out of the sink at the bar.
Do you think the police would frown on me opening a psych drug pharmacy on the side? Just to dispose of my drugs without polluting the water supply! It is for the animals!
Wine is the only reason I'm making it in the real world
He said 'I really struggle with the sin of lust' then we proceeded to have sex. So I guess it was a perfectly executed Catholic pick up line?
The amount of illegal things I've done this weekend is astounding.
can we do this tomorrow? ...i accidently got high.
Randomize
