We were done making out and had been asleep for a hour. I felt him put his hand on my butt. Then I farted.
What do you mean you don't pregame your bikini waxes?
I was hitting on her while she was puking ... yeah i was pretty drunk
I have to keep checking she's breathing. This is why we don't drink on Sundays
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
I just debated creating a mirror system so I could play Batman while in the bathroom. I think I need help.
I already knew that. But I also don't agree with stifling creativity.
Today is definitely a "stand over the toilet and pee through the opening at the bottom of my boxers" kind of day.
I guess the silver lining is that having a big dick really comes in handy when you're hungover.
It's a mixed blessing.
I don't even care that his girlfriend will be there. Us hooking up is a tradition and she will NOT ruin it.
If it's up to me, I'll already have my pants on and walking out before he gets soft afterward.
My goal is to not catch on fire... But if i have to dance im going to dance regardless of the danger
Oh. My. God. You texted my mom "IM BACK BITCHES!"
mom is telling me the setting in which I was conceived
did you know we used to have a pool?
You thought her boot was a stray dog in your house..
I fucked a marine... I told him it was like personal revenge and he said he could live with that and that he didn't mind being used.
I'm intrigued by how his mouth tasted the same as his dick.
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